Everything You Need to Know About Hypergamy
Hypergamy is a common phenomenon worldwide and we will be exploring the reasons why hypergamy has been trending in recent times. What is Hypergamy and how does it operate.
In this article you will learn the following things:
- What is Hypergamy?
- What is Female Hypergamy?
- What is Male Hypergamy?
- Hypergamy & Dating Power
- Wealth & Genes as Factors Contributing to Hypergamy
- Sexy Bodies & Fat Wallet: Women Want it All
- Good Looks VS Resources: Which One Wins?
- Are Women More Hypergamous Than Men?
- Is hypergamy good or bad?
- What is hypergamy and how can you use it to your advantage?
- Where to Learn More About Hypergamy?
In this article, you will learn everything you need to know about hypergamy. What is it? How does it operate? And most importantly, how to use it to your advantage. Let's dive in...
What is Hypergamy?
Hypergamy is a sociological phenomenon whereby women have the tendency to go for the highest bidder as their romantic partner. Basically, they have been programmed to seek and procreate with men of higher status than themselves.
What is Female Hypergamy?
The dictionary defines Female hypergamy as:
Female Hypergamy is the pursuit and/or attraction that women feel for men of higher class, income, or social status.
Have you ever had a romantic partner who suddenly ended her relationship with you, using something unimportant as an excuse and after a few days you saw her very much in love with another man?
That’s Female Hypergamy...
Simply put, female hypergamy is a woman’s inclination/tendency to marry the best man she can find. This is due to an inherent biological motivation to get pregnant with the best possible genes.
Nine months of pregnancy is a great investment of time, energy and resources for a woman, so naturally, she wants the best reward she can get out of it.
Denying hypergamy means not understanding the basics of human nature. Women have the natural preference for a male of higher caliber. This implies that they have been genetically programmed to want men of higher status than themselves. If possible, they also want men who are higher in status than other men they’ve known before. It cuts across a wide range of relationships, from one-night-stand to marriage. Regardless of the type of relationship, women naturally have an affinity for men of the highest status they can possibly get.
Oftentimes, they get excited and eager to copulate with a man of high status, refusing to hook up with a man they could have gotten easily.
In this case, Status has multiple meanings. Some of the aspects of higher status include abundance of money and resources, prestige and higher societal hierarchy. But a man can have all the highlighted attributes and still have a low status.
Why?
He has proven himself to be needy when it comes to women. These types of men are known as simps.
A typical man of the highest possible status would be rich, good-looking, good-natured, fit, well-dressed, and has a business venture that involves risk (better than simple monetary risk). In addition, he is a leader, outgoing, and dominant. However, women have the tendency to be attracted more by BEHAVIORAL traits rather than SUBSTANTIVE traits. So you shouldn’t choose one over the other. It’s better to have both, if possible.
From the generic history of mankind, it is implied that Pareto’s principle of 80/20 can be applied to the sexual market. What does it mean? It is estimated that 20% of men have sex with 80% of women. Usually, this 20% of men are generally considered to be of high status. This is a man whom others admire and women willingly offer themselves to him. He is the Alpha male.
When we talk about status, we have to go into a topic that many are uncomfortable with. It involves assigning classes to men. For the ease of this essay, we will classify men into two basic types; Alpha and Beta. It is important to take note that we’re not making a comparison of herds/packs in the animal kingdom, but to understand the characteristics of both male classifications.
Alpha Male: Confident, leader, dominant, assertive, doesn’t seek validation from others, competitive, courageous, protector, he is behind the wheel in his life.
Beta Male: Shy, prefers to follow than lead complacent, insecure, passively aggressive, needs validation, victim, unstable, he is the passenger in life.
From the above characteristics, it is easy to understand why women are much more willing to have an intimate encounter with an Alpha, but not a beta. It is important to clarify that men are not static, but in life, there are times when we can fit more in one of these classifications than the other. That’s why it is important to be aware of these traits and why a woman would be willing to exchange partners when your characteristics begin to be more Beta than Alpha.
“My advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”
-Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook.
According to the Red Pill community on Women’s Hypergamy, women have a dual sex strategy (AF - Alpha f*cks, BB - Beta bucks) or (Alpha takes, Beta maintains). This dual strategy implies that, on one hand, a woman biologically seeks to ensure that her partner is the highest bidder within her possibilities. Evolution suggests that she will mate with the best Alpha she can get, and if possible, try to procreate with him. On the other hand, if she’s unable to get an Alpha, she ensures dependency by going for a beta to provide sustenance for her and her children.
What is Male Hypergamy?
Male hypergamy has been proven with the aid of various research studies (Buston and Emlen, 2003). Better still, a case study of male hypergamy is basically what you can see in your everyday life. You only need to look around to see male hypergamy at work: men want attractive women. Put succinctly, men want women who are more attractive than themselves, and if possible, they want more than one of these attractive women.
Take a look at how hard men work to scale the societal hierarchies and accumulate resources. Men work harder than women to bring their own hypergamy into fruition.
In fact, motivated men also look for partners who are "better than them", although "better" more often means "better looking" from a physical perspective.
Hypergamy & Its Dating Power
Let’s imagine society to be a big pyramid.
Hypergamy and its sexual market dynamics in a nutshell:
- Women want higher status men
- Women do not get excited about same-status men
- Men at the top of the pyramid have the most options (and the most dating power)
- Top women (higher status women) have the smallest sexual market
- At the bottom of the pyramid, you’ll find people with less status, income, appearance, and resources.
One might wonder if hypergamy is real or just nonsense. According to Hypergamy (and biology), women at the bottom of the pyramid are more powerful compared to men at the bottom. Men are much more happier with women of the same status than women who cannot see anything interesting about their lower-class male peers. The same applies to the middle class of the pyramid.
Due to the high demand for women in the sexual marketplace, they generally have more power when it comes to dating and relationships. However, at the top of the pyramid, the reverse is the case. Men become much more powerful at the top. When we talk about the potential to attract mates or dating power for men, money, power, and resources are much more important than looks at the top of the pyramid. It all comes down to biology. Since men don’t have to wait for 9 months (or close to a year) to reproduce again, they have the tendency to get several women pregnant in a day. This is the case with ancient kings, some celebrities, and business magnates today.
On the other hand, women bear most of the burden of pregnancy. Hence, they tend to be on the lookout for men who have more money and resources. The majority of men can take care of themselves and their offsprings, while most women can barely take care of themselves. This implies that women are much more concerned (and pressured) with getting help and resources from men whom they believe possess what they want; this is the core of female hypergamy.
Wealth & Genes as Factors Contributing to Hypergamy
Does hypergamy happen more as a result of wealth or genes?
When it comes to parental investment in the animal kingdom, male parents' investment varies from one animal to another. Human males lie in the middle of parental investment scale. They may not invest as much as women, however, they do invest a lot. This is essential to understanding hypergamy and dating. In the wild, female animals that do not expect any help from their male counterparts, only mate based on genes (i.e. appearance, strength, and other traits). This implies that, when women know they can’t get help while raising their children, they choose mates based on genes and looks. Therefore, female attraction is based on social proof - what she wants is heavily influenced by what other women seem to like.
Here comes the hypergamous turn, some male species help females to raise their offsprings. In that case, women choose mating partners based on their availability and possession of resources. In this case, commitment is the measuring scale of the ability. This is true of human females, who look for evidence of love and affection as a sign of commitment. In addition to being attracted to resources, women also look out for traits that can lead to the acquisition of power and more resources. These traits include drive, strength, dominance, intelligence, e.t.c.
Hence, we can speculate that one of the rationales behind women disliking men whose lives revolve around them is because they seem to lack the highlighted traits. Women believe that these men are less likely to acquire power and accumulate resources (i.e. they are too focused on themselves and less focused on other life activities).
Sexy Bodies & Fat Wallet: Women Want it All
A very good example of a man who has a great body and fat wallet is Gianluca Vacchi...
The above implies that, in human beings, women want both good genes (represented partly by attractive appearance) and abundant resources (money, power, social status, e.t.c.)
We can speculate that women have two different and separate dating strategies in the sexual market: good genes from good-looking men and resources from wealthy men. In fact, there are proofs that some women have the tendency to copulate out of marriage when they reach the peak of fertility. This suggests a strategy to get resources from their wealthy partners and good or simply diverse genes from good-looking men.
However, these two strategies are not totally separate and they do not run in parallel. Most women seek both and would be happier if they can get men who have good genes and lots of resources.
The above doesn’t imply that they will not cheat when they’re with good-looking, rich and powerful men, but, the probability that they will cheat in this case is low. Women are much less likely to cheat when they’re with resourceful and handsome men.
Good Looks VS Resources: Which One Wins
When they can’t have both, studies have proven that women place more emphasis on resources or good living conditions than appearance. However, when the status is similar or a general condition - as is often the case in wealthy western societies - they prefer the appearance.
Of course, there are many factors to consider in this case, including the time frame - short term VS long term - and the environment. In an environment with few resources, resources become a priority. However, when resources are evenly distributed, as in various developed countries, appearance takes the center stage.
Are Women More Hypergamous Than Men?
Women have evolved to be more hypergamous due to their nature. They carry pregnancies for 9 months and even get stuck with the babies. It has shaped them to be on the lookout for the best partners they can get. As mentioned earlier, hypergamy also applies to men. However, they are less hypergamous compared to women, at least when it comes to sex and relationships.
Here’s why...
- Men are satisfied to have a romantic relationship with women who have lower Sexual Market Value (SMV). This is due to a difference in benefits or returns from casual sex between both genders. Men are happy to have sex with many women, including the least attractive.
- Men care less about women’s resources because they don’t "get stuck" with the babies.
- Women of lower market value are less likely to stray; oftentimes, men are more comfortable with women of lower social status in a romantic relationship as these women tend to be loyal.
- Many men cannot afford the cost to trade-up (be hypergamous)
- Women are born with value (beauty and fertility), men have to work their way to have value (resources and power) in life.
Men and women simply have different incentives when it comes to choosing or switching romantic partners.
Is Hypergamy Good or Bad?
There is a war between men, women and the different ideologies that they believe in when it comes to hypergamy. Let’s take a look at both sides of the coin here.
What are the advantages of hypergamy?
- Natural selection: Since hypergamy allows women to intuitively or intrinsically choose their partners based on superior qualities, this ensures that reproduction and natural selection follow their natural course. It makes sure that each new generation is stronger and better than the previous one. Women regulate the survival of the fittest elimination of the unfit.
- Evolution: Looking at evolution, hypergamy allowed primitive women to choose mates who were smarter, stronger, faster, better hunters, better gatherers, better protectors. Simply better! If it weren’t for female hypergamy, evolution would have stalled, and the human species would still be living in trees today.
- Child support and more: Although getting married is really more than just money, the fact that women seek out stronger, more successful, and more established men can be traced back to how the female mind works. Women seeking long-term partners are naturally attracted to men who will not only be good providers, but are also equipped with capacities to provide emotional support, warmth, responsible parenting, being responsible, and other good qualities.
- Motivation for perfection: Because women have long been nature’s selectors, when it comes to mating and reproduction, it is now up to men to strive to become better versions of themselves. And that’s not so bad. From good hygiene and daily grooming to going to improving your skills and landing that deal to save more money, the concept of hypergamy helps men to strive for ideals that make them suitable companions. Hypergamy has spurred growth in society and civilization because it motivates men to create and invent.
Meanwhile, many say that hypergamy is bad. What are the disadvantages of hypergamy?
- Men are kept on the hook: Hypergamy allows women to choose any man they want. Finding a man may be okay at first, but there is always the search for someone who is better, and this leaves the "inferior" guy on the hook just in case they abandon her.
- Destabilizes sexual marketplace: Hypergamy doesn’t care according to Tomassi, hypergamy doesn’t care if a man is a good person, a devoted father, or a loving husband because women simply go after someone who is richer, more powerful, more popular, and more handsome. Because of untamed hypergamy in recent decades, many men are deemed not qualified or totally invincible to women. Hence, a lot of men have been relegated to involuntary celibates.
- Divorce: Many women even go as far as cheating on their husbands because they couldn’t meet up to their expectations. Cheating as a result of Hypergamy and other factors may eventually lead to divorce in a long-term relationship.
- Pressure due to Expectations: When it comes to getting a romantic partner, hypergamy puts pressure on men to be at their best to attract the women they want. From the way they behave alone, to the way they talk, to how financially stable they are. The pressure can be excessive and lead to men breaking down due to the inability to keep up with the demands of hypergamy.
How many times have you heard women say that they want a sensitive man who is in tune with their emotions, to chine them and listen to them, but they completely reject this type of man? They end up showing their sexual strategy by jumping into bed with an Alpha, the same night?
The Alpha male, who seems to be a real jerk, can get a woman laid in 30 minutes, which could take months and years of investment to achieve for an average man. You’ve spent nights listening to how she complains that her partner is an idiot, but she keeps going back to him. While you keep believing that at some point, you would have your chance. This is the reason why he’s her alpha, and unless she finds a better Alpha, she won’t let go of him.
Although, the concept is quite simple, Hypergamy can have devastating consequences for those men who have no knowledge about the nature of women. A woman under the influence of hypergamy doesn’t care about how long you’ve been together. She doesn’t care if you’ve been faithful or have made sacrifices to be with her. Hypergamy doesn’t care if you were best of friends, called yourself an altruistic man and supported her in her fight for equality, or were always there for her. Hypergamy just doesn’t care. If you think that it’s unfair and that women are bad, you are also wrong. Hypergamy is a reality, which has guaranteed that humanity continues to exist. Without a sexual strategy, we would not be in today’s world. The important thing is to understand and use it, ensuring a better quality of life.
What is Hypergamy and How Can You Use it to Your Advantage?
The best ally of hypergamy: the environments of value.
If you want to be seductive and easily get women, you should know what hypergamy is, how it operates and how you can use it to your advantage. As stated before, Hypergamy consists of the female propensity to feel sexually attracted to the most alpha man in her immediate environment.
Starting from this base, you must understand that women in their daily lives have contact with different environments in which they fulfill different roles.
There are settings of value that are appropriate for those who master music, for those who are athletes and even for those who are geeks in some areas. The important thing is to know how you can stand out in that environment by communicating a high value.
Women love leadership (or leaders).
One way you can harness hypergamy to your advantage is to become a leader in an environment of value. To do this, you need to identify the best niche in the sex market in which you can project more status and preselection.
If you have been a teacher, you have probably seen that some of your students have flirted with you, the same if you are a boss, regarding your employees.
What is your market niche?
There are many market niches: office workers, students, rockers, athletes, naturalists, lawyers, architects, engineers, etc.
Properly project your value in the correct niche; It will make women in this sector compelled to seek your attention and classify you as a man worth knowing.
If you are a singer, the environment of value in which you can seduce best will be the stage and your market niche will be that of women who like your music. If you are also the best singer in your city, you could easily have a group of local fans eager to compete for your attention.
The moment you become the leader of a relevant area of a woman’s life; This will begin to endow you with a series of attributes compatible with the type of man with whom you would like to relate.
If you use the previous knowledge during your external game; you will discover that certain types of women who would not have paid attention to you in another context, in the scenario where you operate; They will look at you as the man of highest value of all, reaching the halo effect in some extremes.
If you’re interested and want to know more about this topic, the best-recommended book is The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. Without an iota of doubt, this book will force you to open your eyes.
Where to Learn More About Hypergamy?
Hate hypergamy, if you want, but not the players. Or better still, just learn to play the game to your advantage and also enjoy it.
Hypergamy (which is a branch of the red pill knowledge) is not something you know or learn once, It’s a life knowledge you gain over time. You can learn more about hypergamy on Youtube videos, books, and some forums. Some creators are not openly creating content about hypergamy, but they have many contents you can learn from.
YouTube Content Creators on Hypergamy: Rollo Tomassi, Coach Greg Adams, Richard Cooper, Better Bachelors, Kevin Samuels, and Chronicles of Judah, Steven B, CRP.
Books on Hypergamy: Books on Hypergamy include the following below -
- Gold Diggers and Sugar Daddies: The Red Pill Guide to Hypergamy by Player Mastermind
- Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars: An Introductory Programming Manual by Anonymous.
- The Rational Male Series by Rollo Tomassi The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar.
- The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell The Feminist Lie: It Was Never About Equality by Bob Lewis.
- Anatomy of Female Power by Chinweizu Ibekwe.
- Men on Strike by Helen Smith.
- Female Hypergamy and the New Sexual Apartheid by Claudio Souza Mattos.
Forums: Red Pill forum at redpillers.com, trp.red, MGTOW Forum
